Bad coconut milk

This afternoon I opened a can of coconut milk that was bad.

How did I know it was bad, you ask?  Good question, class.  Let's review the clues that led to this conclusion:

1) Before I opened it, I gave the can a shake and I didn't hear anything (I always shake the can, I think it may just be reflexive or a habit, not sure what the difference is).

2) When the can opener pierced the can, it kind of hissed at me which is unusual.

3) The solids in the can were not happy-looking and rimming the top.  Instead, there was a mass in the middle and the liquid was all around, like grey, dirty water.

4) The smell was only a tiny bit off, just didn't smell sweet and rewarding which I was looking forward to.

5) Yep, I tasted it.  I don't recommend this, but it didn't hurt me.  Not yet anyhow.  The taste was metallic and lingered for minutes in my mouth.  Blech.

6) Upon pouring it out, said mass glopped into the sink.  That doesn't happen with a good can of coconut milk.

Nope, I did not get one picture, didn't cross my mind 'til I decided to tell you about it, of course.  My apologies.

Thought you'd like to know.

Plan B for supper, sigh.  This was my last can of coconut milk in the house.